A few things I've learned.

1-Feeling isn't a bad thing.
Recently, very recently, actually, I've discovered a weird feeling. Feeling nothing. Well, almost nothing. I felt anger, profound sadness, and extreme elation. But other than that, nothing. Even when I was sad or happy, I couldn't express it. I might smile or look solemn, but other than that I simply couldn't express myself. Or at least, I thought I couldn't. I had myself believing that feeling something other than the afformentioned emotions was somehow 'wrong'. I felt sick when I found myself growing closer to someone. I found myself drawing away from people and into myself. Let me let you in on a secret: that's not a good thing. The other day I let someone in. Full on opened myself up to all the disappointment and hurt that can come from a friendship. I'll be honest, it freaked me out. I didn't want to make any new friends, I didn't want to be open to someone else, I didn't want to get hurt, I went against everything I was comfortable with. And you know something? It felt good. It was almost as though God was saying 'I'm going to force you through this because this isn't how I want you to live anymore.' I'm thankful for that because even though that shell that's been around my heart for months is slowly starting to break away. I guess the trick is just to trust it'll be alright.

2-Not every Christian is a 'Super-Christian'
Maybe it's just me, but those ueber-Christians kind of get on my nerves sometimes. They might be super smart theologically, but rarely do I ever meet one who is also down to earth and loves people for who and what they are. I know of three people I would deem to be 'super-Christian' or really close to it. Two of them are the most amazing women of God I've ever known. They make you feel like you're loved whenever you talk to them and just being around them is enough to brighten your mood. Trust me, I've experienced this. They're not perfect, because no one is, but they constantly seek God's will in their lives and set a very, very good example of what living a Christian life should look like. They're people who I want to be like. That's just how awesome they are. Beautiful inside and out.

3-When God says 'go' you gotta go.
This is more difficult than it sounds. But it's true. I'm not a people person, nor do I like missionary stuff, but when God told me to go to the Philippines, I had to go. There wasn't any way around it. That was almost 4 years ago, and it was something I had completely forgotten about. Not Manila, but obeying God. When He tells you to talk to someone, you better darn well do it, because whether you like it or not, you're going to talk to that person. There isn't a way around it. But if you do managet to avoid it, you'll have a sick feeling in your stomach for a while. At least, that's how it is for me. It might be scary to do what God wants, but it's so worth it in the end.


I don't have the answers,
I don't claim to be perfect.
What I know in my heart
Is that one day,
One day I'll come face to face
With my Maker.